You know, I think Ran Prieur (http://www.ranprieur.com) sums up so much of what I want to express, in a much more concise and sane way. Maybe I should just give it up and crawl back into the hole from whence I came. Sorry Mother! (kidding, sort of)
Seriously, check out his site. It's amazing and inspiring!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Strange Days Indeed
Not even sure what I want to say, but I feel compelled to post something...
It's been a very strange day for me; I have this awful feeling that something big is just around the corner. I dread it, but I know it's inevitable. I feel, very resigned, to the fate that awaits. I also feel, though I can't put my finger on anything specific, that my body may finally be getting ready to 'give up the ghost'. To be totally honest, I think I'm ready to go.
I've had a fun and interesting life, and I've had a few great loves. I think I've been staying alive here for my family, mainly. They are the reason I want to stay alive for as long as possible. But, if it's time it is --- time. I don't know quite why I'm feeling this way; I can only describe it as an extremely deep seated sense of hopelessness that has come over me. I so hope it is just me, just a mood. I fear not though...
Love 2 All,
RtTBt
Omega Man
It's been a very strange day for me; I have this awful feeling that something big is just around the corner. I dread it, but I know it's inevitable. I feel, very resigned, to the fate that awaits. I also feel, though I can't put my finger on anything specific, that my body may finally be getting ready to 'give up the ghost'. To be totally honest, I think I'm ready to go.
I've had a fun and interesting life, and I've had a few great loves. I think I've been staying alive here for my family, mainly. They are the reason I want to stay alive for as long as possible. But, if it's time it is --- time. I don't know quite why I'm feeling this way; I can only describe it as an extremely deep seated sense of hopelessness that has come over me. I so hope it is just me, just a mood. I fear not though...
Love 2 All,
RtTBt
Omega Man
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
"Crystal Blue Persuasion"
I have this crazy theory, it goes like this:
I think that during the 1960's the real 'powers that be' in our universe were trying to break through, attempting to raise human consciousness up a notch. There are, of course, opposing forces and they mucked it up and delayed this part of the great experiment, to humanity's detriment.
Now, Mother Earth and these powers are at it again, and this time it's serious. I'll repeat, I think a consciousness upgrade will be available on/around 12/21/2012. Take advantage of it!
I tried to link to the song 'Crystal Blue Persuasion' by Tommy James and the Shondelles, but something is up so I'm not able to at the moment.
Update, I'm trying it again:
I think that during the 1960's the real 'powers that be' in our universe were trying to break through, attempting to raise human consciousness up a notch. There are, of course, opposing forces and they mucked it up and delayed this part of the great experiment, to humanity's detriment.
Now, Mother Earth and these powers are at it again, and this time it's serious. I'll repeat, I think a consciousness upgrade will be available on/around 12/21/2012. Take advantage of it!
I tried to link to the song 'Crystal Blue Persuasion' by Tommy James and the Shondelles, but something is up so I'm not able to at the moment.
Update, I'm trying it again:
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
One more, this one will be short, sweet, and a bit more positive. I'm going to link to a long essay by one Ran Prieur of Spokane Washington. This essay really is amazing, I strongly suggest taking the time to read it.
In Ran's words (rhymes with Dan); "History is broken. Go!"
http://www.ranprieur.com/essays/beyondciv.html
In Ran's words (rhymes with Dan); "History is broken. Go!"
http://www.ranprieur.com/essays/beyondciv.html
Business as Usual...
Many of you may recall seeing this past week various blurbs on the mainstream news networks about how the good old United States is set to outpace Russia and Saudi Arabia as the largest oil/gas producer on the planet in the next few years. (!) Good News, Right? Jobs, Cheap Gasoline, Happy Motoring to continue, let the sprawl sprawl ever further and forever wider! We're number one! MORE TO COME! STAY TUNED!
My dear fellow humans, this may be true; but it is anything but good news. Unfortunately, this attitude will only make transitioning to renewable energy sources that much more difficult. It will encourage more years of pumping yet more CO2 and Methane into our atmosphere. It will only hasten the inevitable, make it all happen that much faster.
The attitudes expressed by the MSM and many people I meet leave me feeling --- hopeless. I'm not sure we'll be able to pull out of this dive in time, it may already be too late. My therapist Danny Beam (from a year ago or so) was very interested in what I had to say about 12/21/2012. I told him that I thought nothing of note would appear to happen on this day, but that the day was the final tipping point. The 'point in time' when the real powers that be in our universe will decide whether the human experiment gets to continue, or would be wound down and ended (could take a few or even several hundred years - years of ever increasing misery for humanity, ending in our extinction).
So, one more time; I implore you. Find time to meditate/pray/commune with nature on 12/21/2012. Get the 'software' upgrade! Take it to heart! We must tip the right way! Please, please humanity. Do this!
Here's a link to an excellent article by Michael T Klare regarding the IEA Report:
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/11/27-6
My dear fellow humans, this may be true; but it is anything but good news. Unfortunately, this attitude will only make transitioning to renewable energy sources that much more difficult. It will encourage more years of pumping yet more CO2 and Methane into our atmosphere. It will only hasten the inevitable, make it all happen that much faster.
The attitudes expressed by the MSM and many people I meet leave me feeling --- hopeless. I'm not sure we'll be able to pull out of this dive in time, it may already be too late. My therapist Danny Beam (from a year ago or so) was very interested in what I had to say about 12/21/2012. I told him that I thought nothing of note would appear to happen on this day, but that the day was the final tipping point. The 'point in time' when the real powers that be in our universe will decide whether the human experiment gets to continue, or would be wound down and ended (could take a few or even several hundred years - years of ever increasing misery for humanity, ending in our extinction).
So, one more time; I implore you. Find time to meditate/pray/commune with nature on 12/21/2012. Get the 'software' upgrade! Take it to heart! We must tip the right way! Please, please humanity. Do this!
Here's a link to an excellent article by Michael T Klare regarding the IEA Report:
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/11/27-6
Mammon and Its' Discontented
Good Morning Fellow Humans,
I've been doing some morning reading, and one article posted on common dreams has me supremely pissed off. It's about CCA 'officers' (Corrections Corporation of America) being used (with local law enforcement) in a drug sweep of an Arizona high school. I'll provide a link below, but the whole things has me upset. The legality of this is questionable and I'm sure (I hope!) it ends up in court.
This brings me to the larger issue, namely, the worship of MAMMON by much of humanity. "Mammon", for those who may not know, is a biblical term from the New Testament meant to symbolize material wealth and greed. It is often portrayed as a demonic deity.
If the majority of humanity that has some power and wealth continue to worship Mammon, humanity will be brought to its' knees. This worship of this ultimate false God will bring about our destruction, period. The 'holy texts' are right on this one people.
And, 'the meek shall inherit the earth'? I suppose they might, but the 'meek' may not even be human beings. Maybe it will just be the mice/rats/other small mammals and insects and some hardy plants.
THINK ABOUT IT!
Here's the link if anyone is interested:
http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2012/11/27-1
I've been doing some morning reading, and one article posted on common dreams has me supremely pissed off. It's about CCA 'officers' (Corrections Corporation of America) being used (with local law enforcement) in a drug sweep of an Arizona high school. I'll provide a link below, but the whole things has me upset. The legality of this is questionable and I'm sure (I hope!) it ends up in court.
This brings me to the larger issue, namely, the worship of MAMMON by much of humanity. "Mammon", for those who may not know, is a biblical term from the New Testament meant to symbolize material wealth and greed. It is often portrayed as a demonic deity.
If the majority of humanity that has some power and wealth continue to worship Mammon, humanity will be brought to its' knees. This worship of this ultimate false God will bring about our destruction, period. The 'holy texts' are right on this one people.
And, 'the meek shall inherit the earth'? I suppose they might, but the 'meek' may not even be human beings. Maybe it will just be the mice/rats/other small mammals and insects and some hardy plants.
THINK ABOUT IT!
Here's the link if anyone is interested:
http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2012/11/27-1
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Excess and Idle
So, I am a bit 'buzzed' tonight, but I am going to take advantage of my impaired self editing mechanism and say some shit.
Excess and Idle. This was a title of a report I used to run for the material control manager at Grinnell Supply Sales, where I worked for 4 plus years from 1992 until March of 1997. Back then, we actually used to manufacture pipe, valves, and fittings at plants in the United States! Forged Steel fittings from Anvil (in Texas at the time), Steel pipe and pipe nipples from Henderson TN, Cast Iron fittings from Statesboro GA, Malleable Iron fittings and Gruvlok (grooved fittings) from our plant in Columbia SC, Sprinkler heads from our plant in Lubbock TX, and on and on. Butterfly valves from I think our Statesboro GA plant.
All this started to fail in the late 90's. I think most of these plants have long since been shut down. All production has been moved overseas, mostly to China.
So, back to the 'Excess and Idle" report. It detailed inventory that was not moving at all, or that was moving slowly that we had too much on hand of. It was something to watch and try to 'wittle away' at; to monitor demand from other branches and make sure they knew we had said items on hand and would gladly ship them, instead of ordering new ones from the plants. A sensible report. It was a sensible company, well developed software for the industry, very organized, very efficient operation. It had been owned by ITT for years, then got bought by Tyco International. I worked myself out of a job, fine tuned the automated receiving system, which took 8 hours of work and turned it into about a 1/2 hour. No need for an inventory control clerk anymore! So, I was laid off. Oh well.
Back to Excess and Idle. We have ---- for all practical purposes in this economy, excess and idle PEOPLE! They are not really excess and idle, but our capitalist system labels them as such and treats them as such. It is ... amoral, wrong, an offense against humanity. But, it makes sense when the only measure you use is PROFIT! Profit can be good, but it cannot be the end all be all of all things. Okay, it can; but you will not end up with a society that is healthy if PROFIT is the primary motivator. if PROFIT is GOD, other things will quickly turn to crap. That's where we're at people. We have to re-work our priorities, or else face living in an increasingly hellish world. I don't want, and WILL NOT TOLERATE, living in a world such as the one we are currently making. I would like to think most of you out there would agree with me.
Humans are NEVER excess and idle.
The below is a comment from a frequent poster on CommonDreams.org who goes by the handle Elizabeth Tjader. Read it, and consider it. It is one point of view from a typical woman in the USA:
Elizabeth Tjader DaDoRunRun an hour ago
Excess and Idle. This was a title of a report I used to run for the material control manager at Grinnell Supply Sales, where I worked for 4 plus years from 1992 until March of 1997. Back then, we actually used to manufacture pipe, valves, and fittings at plants in the United States! Forged Steel fittings from Anvil (in Texas at the time), Steel pipe and pipe nipples from Henderson TN, Cast Iron fittings from Statesboro GA, Malleable Iron fittings and Gruvlok (grooved fittings) from our plant in Columbia SC, Sprinkler heads from our plant in Lubbock TX, and on and on. Butterfly valves from I think our Statesboro GA plant.
All this started to fail in the late 90's. I think most of these plants have long since been shut down. All production has been moved overseas, mostly to China.
So, back to the 'Excess and Idle" report. It detailed inventory that was not moving at all, or that was moving slowly that we had too much on hand of. It was something to watch and try to 'wittle away' at; to monitor demand from other branches and make sure they knew we had said items on hand and would gladly ship them, instead of ordering new ones from the plants. A sensible report. It was a sensible company, well developed software for the industry, very organized, very efficient operation. It had been owned by ITT for years, then got bought by Tyco International. I worked myself out of a job, fine tuned the automated receiving system, which took 8 hours of work and turned it into about a 1/2 hour. No need for an inventory control clerk anymore! So, I was laid off. Oh well.
Back to Excess and Idle. We have ---- for all practical purposes in this economy, excess and idle PEOPLE! They are not really excess and idle, but our capitalist system labels them as such and treats them as such. It is ... amoral, wrong, an offense against humanity. But, it makes sense when the only measure you use is PROFIT! Profit can be good, but it cannot be the end all be all of all things. Okay, it can; but you will not end up with a society that is healthy if PROFIT is the primary motivator. if PROFIT is GOD, other things will quickly turn to crap. That's where we're at people. We have to re-work our priorities, or else face living in an increasingly hellish world. I don't want, and WILL NOT TOLERATE, living in a world such as the one we are currently making. I would like to think most of you out there would agree with me.
Humans are NEVER excess and idle.
The below is a comment from a frequent poster on CommonDreams.org who goes by the handle Elizabeth Tjader. Read it, and consider it. It is one point of view from a typical woman in the USA:
Comments, anyone?
Not sure how this works, what to think, what ever the fuck. So, I'll say this... I welcome any comments, and will publish any comments except the most absolutely offensive, and will reply as I can. Please, bring it on. For I am ....
NOT AFRAID!
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I will tell it like I see it. I have already looked into the abyss, and nothing scares me anymore... except for, of course, THE ABYSS! And, I'm even kind of getting used to it anyway. Go ahead, try and shock me, scare me, insult me, go for it.
But, warning, if I receive anything that smacks of religious fundamentalism; prepare to be taken down. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, angers me more than that. How dare you place some HUMAN PRODUCED TEXT above the spirit(s)/higher intelligence(s) that are watching over us. Talk about a Golden Calf! The Bible, The Torah, The Koran, all the others ---- written by HUMANS! Hello! Fuck them all, they are just words on stone/papyrus/linen/paper. You can glean some kernels of truth from them, yes; but to worship them as some untouchable truth is the height of stupidity. I will NEVER let this one go, and if anyone out there cares to debate me on it, I welcome it.
Omega Man
RtTBt
NOT AFRAID!
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I will tell it like I see it. I have already looked into the abyss, and nothing scares me anymore... except for, of course, THE ABYSS! And, I'm even kind of getting used to it anyway. Go ahead, try and shock me, scare me, insult me, go for it.
But, warning, if I receive anything that smacks of religious fundamentalism; prepare to be taken down. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, angers me more than that. How dare you place some HUMAN PRODUCED TEXT above the spirit(s)/higher intelligence(s) that are watching over us. Talk about a Golden Calf! The Bible, The Torah, The Koran, all the others ---- written by HUMANS! Hello! Fuck them all, they are just words on stone/papyrus/linen/paper. You can glean some kernels of truth from them, yes; but to worship them as some untouchable truth is the height of stupidity. I will NEVER let this one go, and if anyone out there cares to debate me on it, I welcome it.
Omega Man
RtTBt
Hmmmmmmmm. Let me think for a moment.
I spent most of the month of October (10/10 to 11/02 to be exact) in the wonderful city of New Orleans, Louisiana. The Heart and Soul of the United States. I mean this, quite literally. Think of where most of our 'modern' music originated. Jazz, Blues, R&B --- that morphed into so many formats with the love and effort of so many musicians in both the U.S. and England. The amazing polyglot of cultures that New Orleans nurtured over the years; French, Spanish, African, Anglo (uptight fucks that we are), Haitian/Dominican, Italian, Irish ... and so many others. The 'Creole' blending that happened in NOLA, but did NOT happen in other localities; the result, to this day, is amazing. I have such deep respect and love for the people of New Orleans! I kind of want to move there, but I feel I need to find some more balance in my life first. I fear I may truly fly off the deep end if I move there prematurely.
So, here's a toast to NOLA! I lift my whiskey and coke to you, my beloved New Orleans...
I spent most of the month of October (10/10 to 11/02 to be exact) in the wonderful city of New Orleans, Louisiana. The Heart and Soul of the United States. I mean this, quite literally. Think of where most of our 'modern' music originated. Jazz, Blues, R&B --- that morphed into so many formats with the love and effort of so many musicians in both the U.S. and England. The amazing polyglot of cultures that New Orleans nurtured over the years; French, Spanish, African, Anglo (uptight fucks that we are), Haitian/Dominican, Italian, Irish ... and so many others. The 'Creole' blending that happened in NOLA, but did NOT happen in other localities; the result, to this day, is amazing. I have such deep respect and love for the people of New Orleans! I kind of want to move there, but I feel I need to find some more balance in my life first. I fear I may truly fly off the deep end if I move there prematurely.
So, here's a toast to NOLA! I lift my whiskey and coke to you, my beloved New Orleans...
Weird coincidences...
So, I noticed when I you-tubed "Nature Boy" that it was written by Eden Ahbez, born George Alexander Aberle in Brooklyn, 1908. I Wikipedied him, and I find this little tidbit: " He is also said to have desired the A and Z (alpha and omega), the beginning and the end, in his surname. During this period, he married Anna Jacobsen and had a son."
Alpha and Omega, again. It keeps coming up, and it freaks me out. This is what I'm talking about, am I just nuts, or is there something here/there/everywhere that I can barely glimpse, but cannot yet understand (refer to my earlier post about my reading of Revelations)? My last name is Bazinet. Robert Taylor Bazinet. I found some stupid website that asked 'are you the antichrist, type your name in here and find out'. So, I did, idiot that I am. And, of course, the answer came back that, why yes, I am the antichrist! I tried other names, and none of them came up the same. Even signed off/shut down/tried again -- same result. If pisses me off. Here are a few more 'coincidences': My Birthday is Beltane Eve, the primary spring 'holiday, festival' whatever for wiccans/druids. That Anton LaVey dude, founder of the Church of Satan; founded it on my birthday/birthyear April 30, 1966. Hitler was born on April 20th (my Dad's birthday). Hitler committed suicide on... April 30th. The final cease fire/'peace' treaty for the Vietnam War was signed on... April 30th. The "Freedom Tower" (new World Trade Center Tower) officially became the tallest building in NYC on... April 30th. There are more. In fact, note how many offers (cars sales, other shit) end on ... April 30th. And yes, obviously, I am not the only human born on April 30, 1966; I know. In fact, in my itty bitty high school in Montana, I had two friends born on the same day, one in 1965 (Brad), and one in 1967 (Anne). and me, Robert. In a high school of maybe 180 kids, total.
It's enough to drive me nuts. Do I read too much into this? Likely...
Alpha and Omega, again. It keeps coming up, and it freaks me out. This is what I'm talking about, am I just nuts, or is there something here/there/everywhere that I can barely glimpse, but cannot yet understand (refer to my earlier post about my reading of Revelations)? My last name is Bazinet. Robert Taylor Bazinet. I found some stupid website that asked 'are you the antichrist, type your name in here and find out'. So, I did, idiot that I am. And, of course, the answer came back that, why yes, I am the antichrist! I tried other names, and none of them came up the same. Even signed off/shut down/tried again -- same result. If pisses me off. Here are a few more 'coincidences': My Birthday is Beltane Eve, the primary spring 'holiday, festival' whatever for wiccans/druids. That Anton LaVey dude, founder of the Church of Satan; founded it on my birthday/birthyear April 30, 1966. Hitler was born on April 20th (my Dad's birthday). Hitler committed suicide on... April 30th. The final cease fire/'peace' treaty for the Vietnam War was signed on... April 30th. The "Freedom Tower" (new World Trade Center Tower) officially became the tallest building in NYC on... April 30th. There are more. In fact, note how many offers (cars sales, other shit) end on ... April 30th. And yes, obviously, I am not the only human born on April 30, 1966; I know. In fact, in my itty bitty high school in Montana, I had two friends born on the same day, one in 1965 (Brad), and one in 1967 (Anne). and me, Robert. In a high school of maybe 180 kids, total.
It's enough to drive me nuts. Do I read too much into this? Likely...
Nature Boy - Nat King Cole
This is one of my absolute, all time, favorite songs. Every time I hear it, I end up balling like an infant. I can't help it, it speaks to me so deeply. So, I'm going to share this version, one of the early (if not original) ones, by Nat King Cole:
Thursday, November 22, 2012
What Cannot Be Lost
Thanksgiving Day, November 22nd in the year of 'our lord' 2012.
What am I thankful for? Everything, and everybody. OK, that's a little too broad and a little too vague. I am thankful that I am still kicking it here on Earth among all you fine people! I'm so thankful for my amazing and wonderful family, for I am truly blessed to be counted among them.
Uh-oh, here comes the lecture! Kidding, sort of.
I do not want to lose the culture we've nurtured for so long! All the art, music, drama, scientific advancement. All of it! We must find a way to transition to a simpler, less resource intensive way of life, and keep our amazing cultural advancement going! We must find a way to 'keep the lights on', I think that's sort of the 'prime directive' as we go through this difficult time period. Can you imagine living without ANY electricity? I don't think many of us really can.
Popular Music, in my admittedly messed up mind I feel the Universe, God and 'Satan' or whatever/whomever; speak to us through music. I think he/she/it/them is/are the spark for truly inspired art and music. I don't want to us lose any of it! I love Pop Music, so much of it contains so many great truths. Look at the lyrics to The Association's "Along Comes Mary' and tell me you don't see a hint of the divine in this one.
What am I thankful for? Everything, and everybody. OK, that's a little too broad and a little too vague. I am thankful that I am still kicking it here on Earth among all you fine people! I'm so thankful for my amazing and wonderful family, for I am truly blessed to be counted among them.
Uh-oh, here comes the lecture! Kidding, sort of.
I do not want to lose the culture we've nurtured for so long! All the art, music, drama, scientific advancement. All of it! We must find a way to transition to a simpler, less resource intensive way of life, and keep our amazing cultural advancement going! We must find a way to 'keep the lights on', I think that's sort of the 'prime directive' as we go through this difficult time period. Can you imagine living without ANY electricity? I don't think many of us really can.
Popular Music, in my admittedly messed up mind I feel the Universe, God and 'Satan' or whatever/whomever; speak to us through music. I think he/she/it/them is/are the spark for truly inspired art and music. I don't want to us lose any of it! I love Pop Music, so much of it contains so many great truths. Look at the lyrics to The Association's "Along Comes Mary' and tell me you don't see a hint of the divine in this one.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thanks - for the memories...
I'm here with my sister, trying to help clean up as she prepares various foods for tomorrow (the squash casserole, her excellent cheesecake, some pies). We bought an of course obscene amount of food at Kroger. The cashier, God Bless Her, gave us the senior discount on top of the "Kroger Card" savings. Brought the bill down another $20. Mom's on her way up from west central Florida now, she should arrive about 11. Matt's brother in law and his girlfriend and son are coming over tomorrow also. They're good people, a bit red in the neck but Tim is an excellent mechanic, can fix anything. He can't read though, which I find very sad. Can't talk to him about it though, he is very proud.
And me ... well I tried to stay off the sites today and wasn't even going to post. But, I read an amazing and heartfelt piece on Resilience.org by Dan Allen, a high school teacher. He speaks the truth people. I know many may not want to listen, but I implore you, please ... read/listen. The time is near, and I want as many of us to survive as possible.
So, here's the link:
http://www.resilience.org/stories/2012-11-21/collapsing-into-gaia-what-to-expect-when-you-re-expecting-collapse
And me ... well I tried to stay off the sites today and wasn't even going to post. But, I read an amazing and heartfelt piece on Resilience.org by Dan Allen, a high school teacher. He speaks the truth people. I know many may not want to listen, but I implore you, please ... read/listen. The time is near, and I want as many of us to survive as possible.
So, here's the link:
http://www.resilience.org/stories/2012-11-21/collapsing-into-gaia-what-to-expect-when-you-re-expecting-collapse
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
New Day Dawning?
I was in the old World Trade Center towers twice. Once in 1989, my boyfriend Mic and I went up to the indoor viewing area and took it all in. Mic, God Bless Him, passed away in 1993 of AIDS. No, not from me. I miss him to this day, he was an amazing person (1/2 Irish and 1/2 Native American - 100% beautiful), he IS an amazing soul.
The 2nd time was in 1994 with my ex-partner James and his sister Mary. That time, it was lovely outside and we went to the rooftop viewing areas. Still have some great pics from this visit.
The WTC holds a weird place in my heart, partially because engineering the massive 'chillers' for the HVAC system was my Dad's first job/project after he graduated from RPI.
The new One World Trade Center (Freedom Tower) officially became the tallest building in NYC on my birthday, April 30th.
This link is from the day Hurricane Sandy approached, and contains the sound referred to in the essay by Jules Peck I linked to in my prior posting:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2232005/Superstorm-Sandy-turned-World-Trade-Center-olian-harp-played-eerie-sound-foreboding-just-hours-storm-hit-New-York.html
The 2nd time was in 1994 with my ex-partner James and his sister Mary. That time, it was lovely outside and we went to the rooftop viewing areas. Still have some great pics from this visit.
The WTC holds a weird place in my heart, partially because engineering the massive 'chillers' for the HVAC system was my Dad's first job/project after he graduated from RPI.
The new One World Trade Center (Freedom Tower) officially became the tallest building in NYC on my birthday, April 30th.
This link is from the day Hurricane Sandy approached, and contains the sound referred to in the essay by Jules Peck I linked to in my prior posting:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2232005/Superstorm-Sandy-turned-World-Trade-Center-olian-harp-played-eerie-sound-foreboding-just-hours-storm-hit-New-York.html
No more Mr. Nice Guy (Today)
I'm going to attempt an analogy, bare with me:
Imagine that humanity is on a cross-country trip in one van. The USA is (of course) in the driver's seat. China is in the passenger seat. Russia, India, and Europe are in the bench seat behind them. The rest of the world's nations take up the rest of the van. There is a lot of ruckus and squabbling going on, naturally. Kids will be kids, after all. Russia, India, and Europe take turns trying to tell the 'parents' how to drive, which way to go, etc. They end up heading west on I-90 in Montana and heading up the west side of the pass over the Continental Divide (traveled this route many times, that's why I picked it). There is strain on the engine, as the grade is steep and the road is twisty. But, on they go.
Going up the east side of the pass, is a large tandem truck that is our Mother Earth. She is approaching the summit of the pass, and just realized her air brake system failed (climate change). She knows there is a 'runaway' truck ramp on the downhill side of the pass, but she's concerned about her very heavy load and the added complication of the tandem arrangement. She starts flashing her lights, blowing her horns, anything to warn oncoming traffic of the approaching potential disaster. She tries to slow down, but just went over the summit and knows now it's too late to do anything but try to steer to the runaway ramp.
Humanity is just humming along, fuel is low but they think they have enough to make it through the pass and to a refueling station. They round a bend and - lo and behold - they see this huge truck coming right at them, swerving all over, going way too fast, lights flashing wildly and air-horn bellowing. Will Mother Earth make it to the ramp before colliding with Humanity? Will Humanity be smart and avoid the on-coming truck or panic?
People, we are at this point. The collision is imminent! It's right around the corner. We need to get smart, and do it quickly, if we are to survive. Our poor beleaguered Mother Earth can only do so much. She's hopelessly overloaded!
Jules Peck posted on Resilience today an excellent essay that I will link to, regarding "sandy" and its' implications. The last two paragraphs will haunt me forever...
http://www.resilience.org/stories/2012-11-20/hurricane-cassandra
Imagine that humanity is on a cross-country trip in one van. The USA is (of course) in the driver's seat. China is in the passenger seat. Russia, India, and Europe are in the bench seat behind them. The rest of the world's nations take up the rest of the van. There is a lot of ruckus and squabbling going on, naturally. Kids will be kids, after all. Russia, India, and Europe take turns trying to tell the 'parents' how to drive, which way to go, etc. They end up heading west on I-90 in Montana and heading up the west side of the pass over the Continental Divide (traveled this route many times, that's why I picked it). There is strain on the engine, as the grade is steep and the road is twisty. But, on they go.
Going up the east side of the pass, is a large tandem truck that is our Mother Earth. She is approaching the summit of the pass, and just realized her air brake system failed (climate change). She knows there is a 'runaway' truck ramp on the downhill side of the pass, but she's concerned about her very heavy load and the added complication of the tandem arrangement. She starts flashing her lights, blowing her horns, anything to warn oncoming traffic of the approaching potential disaster. She tries to slow down, but just went over the summit and knows now it's too late to do anything but try to steer to the runaway ramp.
Humanity is just humming along, fuel is low but they think they have enough to make it through the pass and to a refueling station. They round a bend and - lo and behold - they see this huge truck coming right at them, swerving all over, going way too fast, lights flashing wildly and air-horn bellowing. Will Mother Earth make it to the ramp before colliding with Humanity? Will Humanity be smart and avoid the on-coming truck or panic?
People, we are at this point. The collision is imminent! It's right around the corner. We need to get smart, and do it quickly, if we are to survive. Our poor beleaguered Mother Earth can only do so much. She's hopelessly overloaded!
Jules Peck posted on Resilience today an excellent essay that I will link to, regarding "sandy" and its' implications. The last two paragraphs will haunt me forever...
http://www.resilience.org/stories/2012-11-20/hurricane-cassandra
Sunny Day in Savannah
Good Morning, Fellow Humans!
After a week and a half of gloomy/chilly weather, the Sun finally came out today; in all its' glory. Had a lovely, extended morning session with it, and it warmed my soul.
There are so many birds here now! A huge variety in the many trees surrounding my sister's home. A bluejay dive-bombed the patio table while I was out there. That is one of the many things I love about Savannah. They don't cut down trees here unless they absolutely have to. The subdivision my sis lives in, Wilmington Park, was developed in the late 1960's; and they did NOT cut down the trees. The houses (almost all are brick ranches, some huge) are all shaded by old live oaks, water oaks, and very tall pines. This past summer, a huge old magnolia in Monterey Square had to be taken down, its' core was rotten. It made the evening news, and people tied ribbons around it and held a ceremony first. That's Savannah, we love our trees!
Oh, and I want to link to a Carpenters song, so here it is:
Love 2 All,
RtTBt
After a week and a half of gloomy/chilly weather, the Sun finally came out today; in all its' glory. Had a lovely, extended morning session with it, and it warmed my soul.
There are so many birds here now! A huge variety in the many trees surrounding my sister's home. A bluejay dive-bombed the patio table while I was out there. That is one of the many things I love about Savannah. They don't cut down trees here unless they absolutely have to. The subdivision my sis lives in, Wilmington Park, was developed in the late 1960's; and they did NOT cut down the trees. The houses (almost all are brick ranches, some huge) are all shaded by old live oaks, water oaks, and very tall pines. This past summer, a huge old magnolia in Monterey Square had to be taken down, its' core was rotten. It made the evening news, and people tied ribbons around it and held a ceremony first. That's Savannah, we love our trees!
Oh, and I want to link to a Carpenters song, so here it is:
Love 2 All,
RtTBt
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday, Monday; Can't trust that day...
Mr. Kunstler did his thing, I'll post a link at the bottom for those who may be interested. Since my sister and her husband do hold down jobs, and the kids are in school; Monday still feels like Monday to me, back when I 'worked' a normal job.
Our world, in the words of one of the 'ancestor ghosts' in Kushner's 'Angels in America', "has gotten so very old". It's making me tear up, I see so many trends converging on one common point in history. I hope humanity can weather the coming storm. I'll go back to my post yesterday about 'software upgrades' on 12/21/2012. I implore you, again; make yourselves available on this day (and every day!) for this. Find the time, please. I'm serious, the future of the human race may be at stake.
I love each and all of you
I want us to continue
I do NOT WANT our world to end
But, it MUST CHANGE, soon; or our presence here may start to... fade away.
http://kunstler.com/blog/2012/11/epic-disappointment.html
Our world, in the words of one of the 'ancestor ghosts' in Kushner's 'Angels in America', "has gotten so very old". It's making me tear up, I see so many trends converging on one common point in history. I hope humanity can weather the coming storm. I'll go back to my post yesterday about 'software upgrades' on 12/21/2012. I implore you, again; make yourselves available on this day (and every day!) for this. Find the time, please. I'm serious, the future of the human race may be at stake.
I love each and all of you
I want us to continue
I do NOT WANT our world to end
But, it MUST CHANGE, soon; or our presence here may start to... fade away.
http://kunstler.com/blog/2012/11/epic-disappointment.html
My small mind
Well, here I am Monday morning waiting for Jim Kunstler to post his weekly rant, and reading Chris Hedges on commondreams. Mr. Hedges' essay drives the point home to me, once again, that I tend to get lost in my own delusions to the degree that I forget how meaningless they are. As I'm here worrying about the 'out of synchness' of my thoughts with reality, hundreds of people in Gaza, Afghanistan and other places are dealing with some truly threatening shit.
Guess one can't focus on that all the time, but it would seem wise to pay some attention. Chris Hedges clears up the fog and makes clear what is truly at stake here. If you didn't read this one elsewhere, I'll provide you yet another opportunity:
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/11/19-0
Guess one can't focus on that all the time, but it would seem wise to pay some attention. Chris Hedges clears up the fog and makes clear what is truly at stake here. If you didn't read this one elsewhere, I'll provide you yet another opportunity:
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/11/19-0
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Time Distortion
I just want to say a few words about this, since if affects my point of view so significantly. When I am Manic (as I am now), time seems to absolutely crawl. Nothing (I MEAN NOTHING) moves fast enough for me. I watch the microwave count down the last 10 seconds until whatever is in it is hot enough, and I can create and destroy worlds in those 10 seconds. Driving to the local Kroger and back for a few groceries is a torturous adventure that seems to eat up three lifetimes. Waiting for one of my loved nephews or niece to explain some simple problem, issue, or question to me demands superhuman patience. And I won't even try to explain how listening to my beloved mother makes me feel.
What is up with this? Seriously. I am wise enough to know this is related to my mania, but how can my mental 'speed' get so incredibly out of synch with 'reality' speed? I've become quite good at holding in my irritation and impatience, but in the back of my mind I always worry that at some point I will simply EXPLODE and alienate the few people in my life who will still tolerate me.
Any suggestions? Anyone?
What is up with this? Seriously. I am wise enough to know this is related to my mania, but how can my mental 'speed' get so incredibly out of synch with 'reality' speed? I've become quite good at holding in my irritation and impatience, but in the back of my mind I always worry that at some point I will simply EXPLODE and alienate the few people in my life who will still tolerate me.
Any suggestions? Anyone?
If you really want to know...
Good evening once again, fellow humans;
Okay, if you really want to know, I'll try to explain why I made the NSA comments in earlier posts. When I was 9, in fourth grade, I took a statewide reading comprehension test in New York State. I scored the 2nd highest in the state (College level reading skills at the age of 9, ie: I read Atlas Shrugged in one day at the age of 10; I was impressed at the time, I remain horrified). That summer, my parents suggested I spend a couple weeks with my Uncle Bill and Aunt Sue. My Uncle Bill at the time worked for the NSA as a computer programmer. I recall flying into National Airport (now Reagan National), and my handsome Uncle picking me up in his cool uniform, and whisking me off to his NSA office in Georgetown. I recall waiting for what seemed like hours (probably was only like 45 minutes) for various security checks to be done), and then getting a tour of the operations center. Reel to Reel computers, very 1974 shit.
Here's the weird part, I have these very odd memories of the trip afterwards. Me and my 4 year old cousin Amy walking for hours on end down railroad tracks. Me and my cousin Jeff exploring a frightening abandoned house complete with chains and shit hanging from the ceiling. I look back on it, and I wonder; were all these memories real? I to this day do not know. I know this, my Uncle Bill and Aunt Sue are amazing, and Uncle Bill left the NSA soon after this. I have A LOT of questions about this. Can you relate?
Nuff said, and apologies to Uncle Bill and Aunt Sue, I know it wasn't in your control We, all of us, were being manipulated a bit. Or, it's all in my head (completely possible) and I've incorporated this into my delusion(s).
I need to stop now.
Love 2 All
Omega Man
RtTBt
Okay, if you really want to know, I'll try to explain why I made the NSA comments in earlier posts. When I was 9, in fourth grade, I took a statewide reading comprehension test in New York State. I scored the 2nd highest in the state (College level reading skills at the age of 9, ie: I read Atlas Shrugged in one day at the age of 10; I was impressed at the time, I remain horrified). That summer, my parents suggested I spend a couple weeks with my Uncle Bill and Aunt Sue. My Uncle Bill at the time worked for the NSA as a computer programmer. I recall flying into National Airport (now Reagan National), and my handsome Uncle picking me up in his cool uniform, and whisking me off to his NSA office in Georgetown. I recall waiting for what seemed like hours (probably was only like 45 minutes) for various security checks to be done), and then getting a tour of the operations center. Reel to Reel computers, very 1974 shit.
Here's the weird part, I have these very odd memories of the trip afterwards. Me and my 4 year old cousin Amy walking for hours on end down railroad tracks. Me and my cousin Jeff exploring a frightening abandoned house complete with chains and shit hanging from the ceiling. I look back on it, and I wonder; were all these memories real? I to this day do not know. I know this, my Uncle Bill and Aunt Sue are amazing, and Uncle Bill left the NSA soon after this. I have A LOT of questions about this. Can you relate?
Nuff said, and apologies to Uncle Bill and Aunt Sue, I know it wasn't in your control We, all of us, were being manipulated a bit. Or, it's all in my head (completely possible) and I've incorporated this into my delusion(s).
I need to stop now.
Love 2 All
Omega Man
RtTBt
Oh my God, I am so clueless, I forgot how to post a link. My apologies to the NSA. LOLOLOLOL! nothing like a good belly laugh to clear out the foamy phlegm of Phneumocystis!
so, here goes one more try (reminder, it's about that old bogeyman, the 'antichrist'):
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/apocalypse/antichrist/white.html
so, here goes one more try (reminder, it's about that old bogeyman, the 'antichrist'):
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/apocalypse/antichrist/white.html
Some background on the "Anti-Christ"
Good evening fellow humans,
Here is a link to some scholarly discussion of the origins on the whole 'antichrist' bullshit that has plagued me throughout my life. I think I want to send this all to the, ahem, LAKE OF FIRE, and be done with it. But, if anyone out there is actually reading my little old blog, please do link to this and peruse. You may learn something. Imagine that, oh my!
Omega Man
Omega Christ? (doubt it, I'm just fucking nuts)
Love 2 ALL
RtTBt
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/apocalypse/antichrist/white.html
and why, oh why, will this link not behave as the others have? Hmmmmmmmmm. NSA leave me the fuck alone, you had your chance, and you failed. Live with it!
Here is a link to some scholarly discussion of the origins on the whole 'antichrist' bullshit that has plagued me throughout my life. I think I want to send this all to the, ahem, LAKE OF FIRE, and be done with it. But, if anyone out there is actually reading my little old blog, please do link to this and peruse. You may learn something. Imagine that, oh my!
Omega Man
Omega Christ? (doubt it, I'm just fucking nuts)
Love 2 ALL
RtTBt
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/apocalypse/antichrist/white.html
and why, oh why, will this link not behave as the others have? Hmmmmmmmmm. NSA leave me the fuck alone, you had your chance, and you failed. Live with it!
What to do on 12/21/2012
Good Morning Fellow Humans!
Well, I was sitting out on the patio today, drinking coffee and smoking (I know, I know --- working on that but not ready yet); and I started to tremble and vibrate much more than normal after saying my morning 'prayer' or what-have-you to the sun. It felt uncannily like a download of data, a particularly large data dump.
And now I am compelled to tell you this: Find some quiet time on 12/21 to meditate/commune with nature/pray/whatever you call it. Just be sure to find the time, for I strongly believe that human awareness can be increased, by an unknown degree, on this day. The more of us that make our minds and spirits available to the 'software update' that will be available on this day, the better.
That is the best advice I can give you.
God Speed, God Bless,
Love 2 ALL
Omega Man
RtTBt
Well, I was sitting out on the patio today, drinking coffee and smoking (I know, I know --- working on that but not ready yet); and I started to tremble and vibrate much more than normal after saying my morning 'prayer' or what-have-you to the sun. It felt uncannily like a download of data, a particularly large data dump.
And now I am compelled to tell you this: Find some quiet time on 12/21 to meditate/commune with nature/pray/whatever you call it. Just be sure to find the time, for I strongly believe that human awareness can be increased, by an unknown degree, on this day. The more of us that make our minds and spirits available to the 'software update' that will be available on this day, the better.
That is the best advice I can give you.
God Speed, God Bless,
Love 2 ALL
Omega Man
RtTBt
Saturday, November 17, 2012
UT Prof. Robert Jensen, My Hero
Hello again,
Robert Jensen is a journalism professor at UT Austin, an author, and a serious activist. I came across his essay "The Delusion Revolution" on Alternet in 2008 (you can find it in numerous places and on his site on the web --- you can figure it out). This essay, combined with the documentary film "A Crude Awakening" woke me up, and my life's been getting harder and weirder ever since. Because it had to. I accept this awakening despite the many hardships it imposes, because it is ESSENTIAL for me. God only knows where I'd be if I hadn't awakened. Dead, I think...
Mr. Jensen wrote a very insightful article about the role universities have in extending the hold TPTB have on us. Here it is:
http://www.austinpost.org/university-texas/what-starts-here?fb_action_ids=527939610567457&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=246965925417366
Robert Jensen is a journalism professor at UT Austin, an author, and a serious activist. I came across his essay "The Delusion Revolution" on Alternet in 2008 (you can find it in numerous places and on his site on the web --- you can figure it out). This essay, combined with the documentary film "A Crude Awakening" woke me up, and my life's been getting harder and weirder ever since. Because it had to. I accept this awakening despite the many hardships it imposes, because it is ESSENTIAL for me. God only knows where I'd be if I hadn't awakened. Dead, I think...
Mr. Jensen wrote a very insightful article about the role universities have in extending the hold TPTB have on us. Here it is:
http://www.austinpost.org/university-texas/what-starts-here?fb_action_ids=527939610567457&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=246965925417366
Aha, here's where the title goes!
So, I encourage anyone out there who is reading this, to please click on the link and read and/or watch it. The author, Nafeez Mosaddeq Ahmed, shares many points in common with me. The current paradigm is ending, and a new one is being birthed now at numerous points on our lovely planet.
This is a battle, between the status-quo and a new world. The powers behind out current paradigm are, I believe, terrified at this point. Those in power know, deep down, that their days in power are numbered. They will do anything to hold on to the power for as long as possible. The problem is, this 'holding on' may take the whole thing down. It's disturbing to realize just how insane, and in fact suicidal, TPTB are. They're eating their own seed-corn, swallowing themselves up in the process. Global GDP $70 trillion, Total derivatives $1200 trillion --- gee, is there a disconnect here? You think?
I think part of the process may be to just ... ignore them. Find a way to simplify your life as much as possible and learn as much as you can about living in a more harmonious, balanced way with your local environment. Easier said than done I know, but it is the major task facing each and all of us.
We best get to work....
Love 2 All
RtTBt
Good Morning!
I'm here doing my usual AM routine posting a few things on facebook, perusing my favorite sites, and just generally fucking off. Doc gave me an RX for Levofloxacin and it's doing it's work quickly thank God. Doing a job on my intestinal track also, but that's part of the deal.
Ran across an excellent essay and video on Resilience.org this morning, and I am going to attempt my first link; here goes:
http://www.resilience.org/stories/2012-11-16/from-endless-growth-to-a-new-form-of-democracy
I'm here doing my usual AM routine posting a few things on facebook, perusing my favorite sites, and just generally fucking off. Doc gave me an RX for Levofloxacin and it's doing it's work quickly thank God. Doing a job on my intestinal track also, but that's part of the deal.
Ran across an excellent essay and video on Resilience.org this morning, and I am going to attempt my first link; here goes:
http://www.resilience.org/stories/2012-11-16/from-endless-growth-to-a-new-form-of-democracy
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Tired, but one more posting today:
So, I've spent much of the last two years, since I stopped working, reading and researching issues of sustainable living, peak oil/energy, climate change, no growth/contraction economics, etc. For the first year, I focused on the negative/fear inspiring stuff out there on the web. I've not found that approach helpful. More recently I've made a concerted effort to concentrate on writers and bloggers who at least have something constructive to add to the conversation. People like John Michael Greer (Archdruid), Samuel Alexander; Sites like Resilience.org and Yes! Magazine's.
I find their thinking excellent, and I will provide links to articles and essays I find interesting soon; but now I just want to share a few thoughts:
So, I've spent much of the last two years, since I stopped working, reading and researching issues of sustainable living, peak oil/energy, climate change, no growth/contraction economics, etc. For the first year, I focused on the negative/fear inspiring stuff out there on the web. I've not found that approach helpful. More recently I've made a concerted effort to concentrate on writers and bloggers who at least have something constructive to add to the conversation. People like John Michael Greer (Archdruid), Samuel Alexander; Sites like Resilience.org and Yes! Magazine's.
I find their thinking excellent, and I will provide links to articles and essays I find interesting soon; but now I just want to share a few thoughts:
- It is quite clear to me that our world is at a certain end limit of what it will tolerate from humanity.
- If we humans can't figure out a way to contract in a manner that is equitable and loving, Mother nature will do it for us, and she will not be so nice about it. We may not be nice about it either, but we at least can make choices, we CAN do it right. Whether we can develop the collective will to do so is another matter
- The longer TPTB in our world ignore (or hide) the truth, the faster and harsher our civilization's collapse will be. Again, we can choose to contract in a loving way; or we can let our Earth turn into a Hell.
That's it for know, I'm exhausted and sick tonight (think I have pleurisy, a first for me and it is painful). So, off to get some rest and see my doctor in the AM.
Goodnight, fellow humans.
RtTBt
Anyone who may be with me (does look like I've got 30 or so hits so far, this is weird):
When I am at my most manic, I go all Anti-Christ/Omega Man/Full of Shit basically. When I get angry, I scare the hell out of people around me. My voice deepens and takes on this vibrato that can penetrate concrete. Where this fury comes from is beyond me. Most of the time, and historically in my life, I am easy-going and passive (to a fault). Also, quite gullible (I'll believe anything, almost).
I have to wonder where this obsession came from. I was raised in a quite normal, middle class (Dad sort of went upper middle class, but only lived with him for a year), well educated and tolerant family. We were not religious, at all. We did discuss it often though, usually in very disparaging terms. I loved Bertrand Russell! Still do. The one thing I will say, is I have had this weird REVULSION against religion for as long as I can recall. It just pisses me off to such a huge degree, I often feel every organized religion on earth should be abolished. But, how does one convince billions of people to give up their core beliefs? However delusional they may be. And who am I to judge another's delusion when I so clearly have several of my own?
It makes my head hurt.
One day, last March, I decided to break out Dad's old Bible and actually read Revelations. There, I came across Jesus saying that he is the alpha and omega. I immediately connected with his words (are they really 'his words'? yes, they are in red; but how many transcriptions from someone's memory/translations/permutations have they gone through over the years? Did Jesus even exist?). I started to think of him as my brother, or even my alter ego. Jesus, the Alpha/dominant/progenitor of 'the church': Me, the Omega/passive/destroyer of 'the church. Just two little old book-ends, to bracket a time in our history.
When I am at my most manic, I go all Anti-Christ/Omega Man/Full of Shit basically. When I get angry, I scare the hell out of people around me. My voice deepens and takes on this vibrato that can penetrate concrete. Where this fury comes from is beyond me. Most of the time, and historically in my life, I am easy-going and passive (to a fault). Also, quite gullible (I'll believe anything, almost).
I have to wonder where this obsession came from. I was raised in a quite normal, middle class (Dad sort of went upper middle class, but only lived with him for a year), well educated and tolerant family. We were not religious, at all. We did discuss it often though, usually in very disparaging terms. I loved Bertrand Russell! Still do. The one thing I will say, is I have had this weird REVULSION against religion for as long as I can recall. It just pisses me off to such a huge degree, I often feel every organized religion on earth should be abolished. But, how does one convince billions of people to give up their core beliefs? However delusional they may be. And who am I to judge another's delusion when I so clearly have several of my own?
It makes my head hurt.
One day, last March, I decided to break out Dad's old Bible and actually read Revelations. There, I came across Jesus saying that he is the alpha and omega. I immediately connected with his words (are they really 'his words'? yes, they are in red; but how many transcriptions from someone's memory/translations/permutations have they gone through over the years? Did Jesus even exist?). I started to think of him as my brother, or even my alter ego. Jesus, the Alpha/dominant/progenitor of 'the church': Me, the Omega/passive/destroyer of 'the church. Just two little old book-ends, to bracket a time in our history.
All thanks to Linds Redding for the image of the glass.
I post it for a reason. My Doctor (whom I will see tomorrow) often uses the analogy of a 1/2 full glass to explain what I do to myself each time I stop taking my meds. She says, each time, I can recover SOME of my immune system after restarting meds, but I will never get back to the level in the glass I was at if I hadn't stopped. So, each time I screw up and do this, I lose some of the liquid in my glass. I fear I may be down to the last few sips. But I feel pretty much fine! Still! Amazing...
A sobering thought, no?
Anyway, enough about HIV!
I am now going to paste a 'confession' I made on ampedstatus.com during March of 2011; during a rather severe manic episode that lasted from March until July of 2011. Here goes:
I post it for a reason. My Doctor (whom I will see tomorrow) often uses the analogy of a 1/2 full glass to explain what I do to myself each time I stop taking my meds. She says, each time, I can recover SOME of my immune system after restarting meds, but I will never get back to the level in the glass I was at if I hadn't stopped. So, each time I screw up and do this, I lose some of the liquid in my glass. I fear I may be down to the last few sips. But I feel pretty much fine! Still! Amazing...
A sobering thought, no?
Anyway, enough about HIV!
I am now going to paste a 'confession' I made on ampedstatus.com during March of 2011; during a rather severe manic episode that lasted from March until July of 2011. Here goes:
Hmmm, well, much I must say;
I have chosen this forum to ’confess’, to come clean, to open up, to be as honest with you, my fellow humans, as much as I know how to be. I leave the specifics of what must be done to you, I’m not good at specifics. I see things in a very (VERY!) ’MACRO-perspective’. And yes, I may just be a manic mess gay guy who can’t quite face his mortality, admitted. But, just in case, I will continue:
I believe I am, for better or for worse, a vessel of God, the fourth awakening on Earth. The first age was pre-conscious, before consciousness. The 3 ages following became increasingly ’self-conscious’. We are on the cusp of the 5th age, as predicted by the Mayan astronomers, among others. I am not the ’2nd coming’, actually I am the ’4th coming’, forthcoming! Funny play on words, don’t you think? Many may think of me as ’the antichrist’; and I worried about that incessantly for years. I no longer care, and what is an ’anti-christ’ anyway! Maybe it’s necessary, who knows. It matters not. I love you, I desperately want you to give yourselves a continued chance to evolve and ’grow’ in a spiritual sense. You, all and each of you, have the ability. There are many apparent roadblocks, disregard them. Wake up, Love up. Express Joy, Love one-another, Forgive one-another, re-group as a family … The rest will follow.
Love 2 ALL!
Robert Taylor Bazinet
Robert T Bazinet
RtTBt
tTt
Robert T Bazinet
RtTBt
tTt
I yam what i yam, a sweet potato, a yam I am!
I love each, and all, of you!
I communicate with God on a daily basis. He/She/It/They (I cannot define God, none of us can, in fact ’God’ may just be an advanced race living on a different plane, watching us, doesn’t matter!). Each morning I look at the Sun and give thanks for my life, affirm my love for ’him’ (I call God ’him’ only because, having evolved as a human in Judeo/Christian/American culture, that is most comfortable for me. I realize I may be wrong, Again, it doesn’t matter.
Please pardon any awkwardness, as this is my first blog attempt.
I have given up trying to keep secrets in my life, and have accepted that there is very little (or no) privacy on the internet. So, here goes:
I am 46, male, homosexual, "gay" I suppose. I am HIV positive and have been since I was 19 years old (that I can confirm). I may have become infected soon after my 18th birthday in 1984. Virgin to Slut in one month! Imagine that. It's funny in retrospect. I don't worry about it specifically any more as I have been extremely fortunate. I think the medical field refers to those like me as "elite long-term non-progressors". Hey, I'm a member of an elite! Goody Gumdrops.
In mid 2008, while living in Tampa, I started to feel very hyper and developed severe insomnia. This escalated and began to cause various problems in both my professional and personal lives. Too much detail to go into now, suffice it to say I ended up being diagnosed as Bi-Polar and I do have to agree. I think far too many people are labeled by the mental health industry (and an industry it is), but I have to concur with the diagnoses.
I ended up moving to Savannah in November 2008 and have lived here since, with many swings between depression and outright crazy ass mania going on the entire time. I've worn my family down, have not been able to hold down a job, and am currently awaiting a court date for a disability app w/S.S. Trust me, you'll see eventually why I think I may need this. In the meantime, my mother and sister have been supporting me. I am one lucky person to have them, they are incredible.
I'll get to the crazy stuff later, just wanted to give a 'brief' introduction...
Omega Man
RtTBt
I have given up trying to keep secrets in my life, and have accepted that there is very little (or no) privacy on the internet. So, here goes:
I am 46, male, homosexual, "gay" I suppose. I am HIV positive and have been since I was 19 years old (that I can confirm). I may have become infected soon after my 18th birthday in 1984. Virgin to Slut in one month! Imagine that. It's funny in retrospect. I don't worry about it specifically any more as I have been extremely fortunate. I think the medical field refers to those like me as "elite long-term non-progressors". Hey, I'm a member of an elite! Goody Gumdrops.
In mid 2008, while living in Tampa, I started to feel very hyper and developed severe insomnia. This escalated and began to cause various problems in both my professional and personal lives. Too much detail to go into now, suffice it to say I ended up being diagnosed as Bi-Polar and I do have to agree. I think far too many people are labeled by the mental health industry (and an industry it is), but I have to concur with the diagnoses.
I ended up moving to Savannah in November 2008 and have lived here since, with many swings between depression and outright crazy ass mania going on the entire time. I've worn my family down, have not been able to hold down a job, and am currently awaiting a court date for a disability app w/S.S. Trust me, you'll see eventually why I think I may need this. In the meantime, my mother and sister have been supporting me. I am one lucky person to have them, they are incredible.
I'll get to the crazy stuff later, just wanted to give a 'brief' introduction...
Omega Man
RtTBt
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