Oldies but Goodies (Pop Music)

Good Afternoon again,

Just posting some old songs I enjoy and that have significance for me...

The last one is Three Dog Night, 'Out in the Country'. That is where I wish I was right now...

Peace, and Love; 2 ALL

RtTBt
OmegaMan

Anger evolves to regret

Good Afternoon, Fellow Humans;

I've given it a couple days since I got that mail from the attorney representing Citibank, and my anger has turned into sadness and regret. This fact does not change what I have to do, and I will follow my original timetable in regards to that. As for JFM, I'm sorry for him and I pray he will weather this to the best of his ability.

And, I will putting this issue to bed as far as this blog concerned.

Love 2 All,

RtTBt
OmegaMan

The Patience of a Saint?

So, I've had yet another strange day. I received mail from a debt collecting attorney regarding a citibank credit card that I'm being taken to court for (Dec. 17th). I thought this credit card was one my ex-partner James had procured without my knowledge in 1994 on which we stopped paying in I think late 1995 and which was charged off in late 96 or 97. I was upset about this (and others he did the same thing with), but let it go and rode it out. He dealt with the collectors, I really had no idea what exactly was going on. I did find it odd that they would come after me so many years later, but was prepared to go to court and find out what was going on. In hindsight, I was pretty stupid about it. Silly Faggot, Credit is for Hetero's!

So, I receive today's mail, and I soon discover that James (whom I left in 2004{he left me actually, sold our house out from under me and took most of the profits - my name wasn't on it so I had no recourse}) had procured yet another citibank credit card in my name, charged up nearly $7,000 on it, and then stopped paying on it. I had absolutely no idea. I have contacted his sister and demanded the full amount in certified funds by this Friday 12/07 plus $2,000 for my aggravation, or I will file theft of identity charges with the local police department in question. I have already spoken to the attorney and the police, and I will do this unless I receive the funds by 12/07. I have no choice. I'll be damned if I will serve a day in jail or pay a dime (which I don't have, btw) of this debt. I did not incur it, period.

He's lying in a bed in a nursing home in St. Petersburg, Florida. He can't walk, He has end stage Parkinson's Disease, and I don't care. Am I a cruel and heartless person? I don't think so. He is a con artist and a thief, and he screwed me over one too many times. He can ROT.

Enough about that, just wanted to clue any readers out there into why I may be in a ... rather intense mood.

So, I'm going to link now to a song from the 1990's by "Electronic" entitled, I believe, 'Patience of a Saint'. Then, I will continue...

Patience may be a virtue, but it doesn't seem to be one of mine. But, I wonder... I've put up with quite a lot of crap from various people in my life. Far too much, actually. In retrospect, I didn't do them any favors by 'putting up with it'. I think I hurt them, actually. I never meant to, but it is the end effect that I see. I should have long ago stood up to my ex and told him like it is. Instead, I let him get away with this crap for so long that this ended up happening. Oh well, he should not have done this and I will not feel guilty about it. I would NEVER do this to ANYONE, and he did it as habit, and more, and to others as well. Just Desserts, JFM.

It's funny, considering I linked just last night to a piece analyzing Jesus's 'turning of the other cheek' quote. Translated correctly, he was referring to turning a cheek to the 'slapper' that he (the slapper) could not hit lest he debase himself by using his 'unlcean' hand (people were way messed up back then, maybe even more than us!). I think the other option was that the 'slapper' could instead hit said person with a closed fist; but that this implied the slapper and slapee were 'peers', equals; and that would be well just too much! It was quite revolutionary of Jesus really, in his place and time.

So, guess I'm opting out of the 'turning the other cheek' thing this time around. I've had it, I leave JFM to the jaws of Mammon, whom he has worshiped for so long. May it have mercy on his soul...

Do I have a lot to say? Yes!

But, you'll have to wait a few moments since I have several things I need to do first. Don't hold your breathe. I will be posting later this evening...

Blasphemy?

http://www.alternet.org/comments/man-faces-death-threats-and-jail-pointing-out-weeping-jesus-miracle-just-faulty-plumbing#disqus_thread



I'm sorry, but the situation described in the above link only serves to illustrate  how patently absurd all of our religions are. Every last one of them, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!, are utter crap. They serve as control mechanisms for certain self-appointed elites, enabling said elites to silence anyone who questions the crap they insist on shoving down our collective throat.

I don't know how to describe how much I loathe all religions. I am a very spiritual person. I was raised in the USA. I can relate, very closely, to what Jesus supposedly said and taught (see the link I post later, it's cool). But, I cannot hold with what has been done in religions' names throughout history. I suppose one must accept their role(s) in shaping our culture, but I want them all to be, point blank, ELIMINATED! They are holding humanity back, they are counterproductive, they are .... DEAD. In the words of REM, we need a new religion. But, I would say we do not need a/any religion at all, we need an enlarged spiritual/universal awareness. We won't be able to get it, collectively, until we jettison this crap! All of it! ALL OF IT!

Just my rant, just my opinion, I suppose...

http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1216-30.htm

Hopelessness

Last night the hopelessness that was coming over me took full hold. I could not get out of my head the thought that the world would be better off with me dead. I'm still not convinced this isn't true, but I'm not feeling so suicidal today.

I have to wonder why this happens to me so frequently. These feelings often arise when I'm transitioning from  mania to depressed states. If this is what's happening now, it is the quickest 'switch' I've experienced to date. Not sure, I'm not quite depressed but I feel completely different than I did just a few days ago. I've been taking my increased lithium regularly, so maybe I'm just feeling relatively 'normal' and don't quite know how to handle it; completely possible since it's been so long (years) since I recall feeling anything near 'normal'.

The way I feel, my emotions, have no effect on the facts that I see staring me (and all of us) in the face. Just because I'm in a certain mood does not change reality (does it?). I'm not going to go into that at this time. I've been posting on facebook and preaching on this blog enough for everyone I'm quite sure.

So, where do I go from here? I'm bored, so completely bored. Does this society truly have no use for me? Am I, at the end of the day, actually excess and idle? Should I just shut up and give up? I hear the fucking football in the background, the TV sound invading my sort of private space in the front room. I watch the occasional football game, but I can't understand why my fellow Americans are so obsessed with it. Why? It's boring, nothing much happens, it's mostly flags/penalties/standing around/posturing. It's much like our society; wasted energy, wasted effort, meaningless crap everywhere. ... There I go preaching again.

I've never felt, well --- human. I never have been able to understand you, your drives, your passions, your interests. I feel like an alien placed here to puzzle you out, to make some sense of you. I'm not sure I can. Maybe I've been placed here to merely "Observe and Report" (loved that film, by the way: "Mom, did you finally give up drinking?" "No, silly, I switched to beer!").

I just want to rest, in a neutral space, for a very long time. I don't want to 'be' for a time. I'm tired of it.

and that's the way it is, for me, December 2nd, 2012.

A bit of prophecy?

Happy Saturday, fellow humans;

Well, I've been reading the essays of Ran Prieur most of this day and am quite intrigued. Go to his site if you wish to read them; I do feel they are worth it for those who dwell on issues such as the collapse of civilization. He wrote one essay titled "Arno-geddon" in 2003 that discusses the fascistic implications of the election of 'the Arnold' as Governor of California. Old News? Perhaps, but he then discusses the speech that Jimmy Carter did in 1979 that sealed the fate of his presidency. It's quite odd reading it after all these years, for one soon realizes America made the incorrect choice. It's a bit of a shame, but as Ran says; was likely inevitable.

I found the final two paragraphs of this piece especially prescient. Read them and see if you agree!

http://www.ranprieur.com/essays/arno.html